Anyone Desperately Want To Tell About Trauma But Can't Until Asked

I've read so many posts concerning the terrible thoughts about being forced to expose trauma facts for your t, although I am hoping this isn't absolutely ridiculous. I am working with almost the contrary.

I've many 'concerns' that I'm aware of from an emotionally/verbally abusive step-father to an adult that I trusted in HighSchool being a maternal figure that revealed she had different tips for your relationship... Then what's daily becoming more of the confidence that I've repressed very early neglect (I have always had terrors but am not hearing his and my style in my mind which isnot pleasant change of words)... I have NEVER told details of any one of this stuff. I have described to 2 people that "anything" occurred with this particular person that was the level and I respected. I'm plagued small movie in my own head of the people I remember by pictures and today these sounds of what I suspect.

Does this make sense to ANYONE? I know I would be EXTREMELY embaressed to convey the things I'd need to and I hope it isnot anything ill making me want to... But I'm worried we are going to spend years tiptoeing around the details because he thinks I am afraid and I am desperately attempting to spill the beans. I hope I could tell him this, but it isn't allowed.

I'm working together with at and also have discovered that I am unable to tell him SOMETHING if he does not ask directly. I've told him this and he's great at wanting to ask me questions. The problem is, I also can not tell him things to ask. I know it may appear completely crazy, but it is similar to I'm not allowed to simply readily tell things-but I am allowed to answer. He has gone forth and back about 'control' trauma and after that I believe I am so calm about things happening that he doesn't believe they are and starts to believe we must get another way. I get so disappointed once I hear him speak about not addressing the trauma especially and obtain really depressed and wish to stop hope about actually getting relief. I can't tell him that although it's like I KNOW I have to get these details out. I think he is also concerned I can't manage coping with the trauma specifically due to my panic attacks, but I donot trauma, trauma, trauma know how to change any of this. He covers attempting to get it done with as small depth and stress as possible and that I have learn about every one of these new methods to deal with PTSD without detailed control, but I'd like it so bad.